Not that I am happy or sad

Not that I am happy or sad
not that I am not glad
Just want to make a noice to be heard
Do not decorate me , something inside still hurts
Gifted red color clothes makes me fear
Coming moments are not as one gone real.

Not that I am happy or sad
Why me not hear him , as he is glad
Still have not decided my makeup
Making fake laughs of unsaid breakup
Little broken tears make my nights darker
Father carry me to place much safer.

Not that I am happy or sad
Hold these moments, makes me glad
Waiting his dust to leave my eyes
New ones kindness are now passing by
The life less him , my best treat
His love is now leaving my beats.

Not that I am happy or sad
Just me not as all are glad
Feeling all her untold life
Cannot tell her for the right
Not that I am happy or sad , its just that I am not glad.

Pockets of my heart

Pockets of my heart, keep opening their zippers
Wiping my eyes , closing the loose clippers.
Array of thoughts pass and by-pass,
Shower of those rain drops lay on my dead grass.
Not being natural self I begin to write
Finding no end I started the fight.

Pockets of my heart, making me miser
Churning my love before it gets finer.
Opening from bottom they lost as I think
Pockets of my heart keeping her feelings in.
They dont talk they dont share
Still they all know and do care.